how do I be compassionate

how do i become compassionate person. Or at least compassionate to one person who lost his best friend over the weekend. I have never been dumbfounded at what to say. I had to think lengthy. I am usually able to reply his text within a minute or two. Then he shocked me and said he wanted a hug from me specifically and that he cried. I am so confused.

Today

doing laundry and stuff. And of course drama happened with my married room mates I dont know why dont they just dont get a divorce for something. seriously so much drama. and they dont ever do dish either. damn. but i am going to grocery store for few things to last me til next month. also i really need microwave and yet they havent gotten one yet. like serisouly. I am thinking of buying one when there at work and gone and put in my room means I need to do a little reorganizing. I miss my instant coffee drinks staying hott. I should get back to using my thermus.

on the plus side after my nap seth wants my help with easter eggs. giddy. he left me a voice message. personlly I think he is jelly I got to round 31 on mob of dead. lol

Things I Need to Get

• trashcan
• blue lights to hang
• large crock pot
• tubberware sets
• cup set
• plate set
• sweaters
• thermal longsleeves
• drapes
• sheer drapes and hooks
• portable closet
• dvd/game cabinet or bookcase

Lexy we need to figure out what to get first

why do people have birthday parties

why do people even have birthday parties or large get togethers after the age of 21. What is really the point. I went to one tonight. I was bored as hell. I am half way through one of big xmen comic books. Age of apocalypse . The drawing style is so old school I love it. But back to topic at hand i dont really see the point in birthdays really. I am very simple. I only ever want to things as gifts jack daniels and gift cards to gamestop. the only person who can buy outside of things I just said is the best friend and my siblings. I hate birthday parties. I havent really had one since 25. where i still cant remember half the night woke up cuddling half gallon of jack daniels.

I mean my last birthday me and my best friend when to dinner and watched a movie. more people should have simple birthdays in my mind. My next one I hope is simple with added benefit that seth is here. wishful thinking ya.

My married room mates

something i learned even more is that I can not date a man who isnt obsessive gamer like I am. They argue all the damn time. Seems to be all about how he always playing black ops 2. Which he isnt always. Thats not there only issue but damn. I didnt realize how big being a gamer is important to me is I mean the guy cant be hating on my collection or the fact I want to add some much to it.

I guess I really thankful Seth is a gamer. Not like we like the same games but he actually enjoys talking about them

Now back to beating gears of war judgement

maybe its lame but when seth asks me to play a game I get excited. long distance crushes sucks. but hey it a way we can spend time together I guess that some form of hanging out. since the reconnection to seth and I talking or whatever it is. my ezcema has been clearing alot. I didnt know my destructive and depressive state had soo much to do with it you know. this was pointed out to me really. I really thankful to best friend for pointing out and helping me through whatever it is i feel for seth and stuff. most people would not understand this. I do notice I have rambled on. but whatever.

i

have this sudden feeling that I will be forever alone. this bodes well for my having kids plan in the future. sperm banks seem to scare me a bit

Sometimes you just want an epic kiss. No sex. Just the epic kiss.

I get four days off work. fuck ya!! which means the two 12 i have to do will be easy. seeing as there shutting down. oh yeah. easy day become me now.

Plus the QA manager says I am exceeding expectation. I like this. Job is hard really but it has its interesting points. I wish sometimes I had someone to tell work things to, well that isnt my job.

My vitamin regime is actually paying off. My depression is at managable level that doesnt get to bad. there moments but over all. good. Once I get insurance I might consider taking antis. but for now. vitamins it is

Surround yourself with people who make you feel great about yourself.

livingthisreverie:

ie: people who think you’re awesome. Keep them around whether you agree with why they think you’re awesome or not. Obviously they see something in you that you don’t but should. 

sadly i only really have one of these that supposed to live close to me. but i have others

(Source: shesreallyaskeptic)

I was in a car accident. so the blog will be lacking for today. I need jack daniel and that what i will have

It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire which those who love generously know. We all know people who are so much afraid of pain that they shut themselves up like clams in a shell and, giving out nothing, receive nothing and therefore shrink until life is a mere living death.

I know my blog has been lacking the last few days, but I am trying to get approved for all the test at work. I have been at few more 12 hour days than normal. ebut soon as i get approved. I get six days off. Its all small stuff that they forget to tell me. Its seem like a very social job in a way. My extremely introvert. I love silence. but they think that means if i see a problem that I am not going to say anything. I still like no talking or anything but we will see how this goes. I still have feeler out for that ideal chemist job. But they keep telling me about R and D. I really think they dont want me to leave for few years or something.

what my job is : I am quailty control techonologst. Well thats my offical title. In english I work for a pasta company that exclusively exports to japan but there expanding in the northwest market. Like if you live in the northwest and ever eaten pasta anything from fred meyer. well most of them. its comes from my job. So basically I run test on pasta to ensure quaility.

I have degree in Chemistry. well I currently have AS in chemistry and BS in chemistry also. I am very nerdy and smart I am told.

if you have any question please do ask